You certainly become a wife once you’re married, but do you really have a husband by your side? Does your spouse truly understand the role of being a husband? How can you be sure that the man you’re married to is able to stay true to the vows he promised you? Here are 5 signs that you’re probably in a marriage without a real husband:
1.He doesn’t acknowledge your wants and needs
A detached man is disinterested in his wife’s needs and wishes. He’s doesn’t really know your goals in life, and he doesn’t make an effort to find out. He might indifferently listen to you if you say explicitly what you ask of him, but he rarely pays any attention to the request. And he certainly doesn’t bother to pry deeper and explore those wishes you don’t directly express. Such a partner can rarely satisfy all your needs, since he doesn’t know them, and doesn’t want to.
2.He doesn’t make any gestures
If he doesn’t go out of his way to do things to make you feel good, then do you really have a husband? And it’s not the lack of effort to express his love that’s the problem- it’s the lack of incentive to express affection that’s troubling. If he doesn’t feel the need to do something nice for you, it means he doesn’t actually appreciate you. He cares nothing for your opinions and feelings of a relationship free from any big gestures and small signs of affection that have sentimental value for you.
3.He doesn’t really talk to you
He doesn’t tell you anything about his plans, where he’s going and when he’s coming back. He never discusses big decisions with you. He doesn’t talk to you when you’re together, and he doesn’t answer your calls and messages. If he sees nothing disrespectful in ignoring you in your physical presence, then he’s a husband only by title. He never feels a desire to interact with you, unless he wants something from you, or needs to get something off his chest. This all means he doesn’t listen to you either. You’re invisible to him as long as he has no needs that need satisfying.
4.He expects you to follow without questioning
If he expects you to do everything he wants, whenever he wants it, you don’t really have a husband. You’re expected to cook, clean and look after him, cater to him, and to anticipate his needs and wishes without any regard for your own. Your opinions, wishes or characteristics are unwanted. He runs the marriage like a business: maximizing profits by minimizing expenditures. And your answer to it is servility, as though you are his employee. He expects to get whatever he asks or demands, and cares little for your different opinions, suggestions or protestations.
5.He doesn’t consider you equal
If he doesn’t treat you as intellectually equal, he’s not fulfilling his role as a husband. He doesn’t include you, nor needs to, in his dealings since he doesn’t see you as a same-minded partner. He requires subordination, control and a childlike obedience to his commands. Perhaps he honestly believes that men are better and smarter than women, so they need guidance. Or perhaps he thinks he’s just better and more intelligent than you in particular. Whatever the case, none of this is the epitome of a true marriage, or the mindset of a devoted husband.